1.  Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement? = 1  bananosecond 

2. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per  hour? = Knot furlong 

3. Half of a large intestine? = 1 semicolon 

4.  1,000,000 aches? = 1 megahurtz 

5. Basic unit of laryngitis? = 1  hoarsepower 

6. 2 monograms? = 1 diagram 

7. 8 nickels? = 2 paradigms 

8.  2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital? = 1 IV League 

9. 100 Senators? = Not 1 decision